I've been writing. No, I really have. I have just been keeping it to myself. My journal writing has been dark, depressing... and sadly, true. I don't think I purposefully try to keep on a smiling face. Pretend that I am okay and that everything is fine. It's obviously not. It's just that I don't know what's okay to put out there. I already feel like I've lost friends because of my health issues...maybe they weren't really that great of friends. But I don't want to push it with the 8 people that read my blog. How much do you REALLY want to know? I am hurting badly, both physically and emotionally.... and there isn't anything I, or anyone for that matter, can do for me that they aren't all ready doing. I'm in the middle of this terrible waiting game and I'm really tired of playing. Really. Tired.
On a positive note I have a really great ward family, esp Relief Society president and bishop. Every month I will have a weight loss partner. Someone to challenge and support me so long as I do the same for them. This month it's the Relief Society president. She is beautiful, and strong, and in fantastic shape, but like she told me (and I agree) who doesn't need to loose 5 lbs. 5lbs, that's it. She challenged me to lose 5 lbs with her during the month of July. I have lost 3 lbs since the last time I weighed in. Hopefully this added accountability will be enough to help me past this current plateau.
4 comments:
I don't know what your particular situation entails, but I certainly feel the same way about my weight. It sure does help to have someone working with you.
Please know that you're not alone. And even though not everyone near is happy with you, not everyone who loves you is close.
Every little bit of effort will help you toward your goals. You CAN do it.
I agree with Dirtius. Not everyone who loves you is close and those who love you know you can do it! There may be some forward progress and some reversal. Unfortunately, that is life. I think it is awesome that you have support in the ward and you know you always have my support! Wish I could give you a big hug - so anytime you start to feel down - remember that, I am hugging you in spirit. A kind of wimpy, airy hug but, hey, at least it's something.
I think that it's important to put out there what you're really feeling. It's a sort of therapy in a way.
I am suffering from a hip strain right now and it has made me think of you at times and how much of a struggle that would be. I'm sorry that you have to deal with that but I hope that you can focus on the positive and continue working.
How fun it must be to have a partner for a month and then get to work with someone else. Sounds like a great motivator!
Great job on the 3 pounds! I can't wait to hear about more of your successes or more of your struggles. Whatever the case may be. :)
That is awesome Carrie :) Every bit of progress is a success and motivator to progress more. Too bad success doesn't come without some struggle and sacrifice. You have certainly had your share, but You remain truly AMAZING and INSPIRING! Way to get up and try again and again. BTW, I would LOVE to be your weight loss partner any time.
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