How I got huge

I’m big boned.  It’s true!  I have always been big boned.  Don’t believe me?  Well… I don’t blame you.  I’ve been overweight my entire life.  As a kid I remember going to well child check ups and hearing the doctor tell my mom, “She’s healthy, just overweight.”  Yeah, that did wonders for my self esteem growing up.  Unfortunately that mantra from the doctor still hasn’t changed. And on top of that I can think of only a couple years of my life when I felt comfortable in my own skin. I was still what the world considered fat, but oh how I wish I were that fat again.

So, how did I get from fat to morbidly obese?  Let’s see, where to begin…  I have always had a slow metabolism, and loved food.  That alone is trouble.  Add to that exercise induced asthma, my bone and joint problems, and the fat keeps adding up.  I have arthritis in my knees, hips and lower back, hip dysplasia, and little or no cartilage in my knees due uneven wear caused by the dysplasia.  I had at least 3 separate major injuries to my back that don’t help matters either… but all excuses aside I’m fat because I love food and don’t exercise enough.  No blame, I’m the one that lifted the fork – no one made me.

I grew up in Utah.  A place that cranks out the cookie cutter, Barbie doll figured women, with the same hairdos, makeup and personalities.  The girls get degrees in Family Life and Relations Studies, or Home Economics, and play the dating head games, and usually win.  Uh, Yeah.  That SO wasn’t me.  I was big and loud and down right scary.  I got my degree in Automotive Technology, and I’d be willing to bet that the few guys that ever asked me out were probably looking for a free oil change. 

I had a mind of my own and felt like everyone should know it.  Most of that was the stigma that came with being fat, and I over compensated BIG time.  I was a whopping size 12 in college.  Bigger than 98% of all the roommates I ever had.  Then a beautiful thing happened; I moved to Alaska.  In Alaska I was hot stuff.  Guys checked me out, and flirted with me.  That was new.  One day I was riding a bus to work and a lady asked me if I was a model.  I began to laugh hysterically and when I finally calmed down, I asked her if she meant a plus size model.  She looked at me like I was crazy.  She was being serious.  They sure are different here in Southeast Alaska.

Driver's License Photo from when I moved back to Alaska

The bad thing about moving to Alaska was that there were no places to go dancing, and a gym membership was $75 a month.  I went from working out 1 or 2 times a day (and a $12 a month gym membership) and country dancing 2 or 3 times a week, to nothing.  I rode my bike and went hiking and things, but that was not enough.  Two more back injuries and a midnight shift job later, my system and my body were totally screwed up.  Add to that a boyfriend (now husband) that had an even screwier schedule, dates at 1 or 2 in the morning where family sized pizzas were consumed, and bam!  I had suddenly gained 100 lbs in a year.  I gained another 60 lbs when I was pregnant with my eldest, and never managed to loose it.  I actually lost weight when I was pregnant with my second child, about 30 lbs, but promptly gained it back plus some when I was done with breast feeding.

Me shortly after the birth of my youngest

That brings me to today.  Almost two and a half years after the birth of my youngest.  The biggest I’ve ever been in my life, unable to conceive another child, and in the most pain I’ve ever been in.  It’s time to take a stand for myself.  Just working out at the gym isn’t helping as I’m limited due to back problems and what not, and so I’ve joined weight watchers online.  I’ve used the weight watchers program before and did pretty well.  They’ve changed the program a bit, but in the first week I lost 8 lbs and felt like I was constantly eating.  Weight Watchers works for me because I don’t have to eliminate any types of food.  I just need to keep track of points.  I get a lot of points, 52 right now.  I can eat all the fruit and vegetables I want as most are zero points.  It also helps that I have to track what I eat.  I seriously think before finishing off the kids left over nuggets, or about licking the spoon on something I’m making.

My first weight loss goal is 5% of my body weight, 332.5 lbs.  I have about 5 more pounds to lose before I reach that goal.  My next weigh in is Sunday, so hopefully my second week will be as successful as the first.

It is slightly horrifying for me to put this all out for the world to see.  Not that they can’t already see that I’m huge, but to actually put my weight.  Seeing that number in print is as scary as seeing that number on the scale.  It’s embarrassing, but I’ll get over it.  I need everyone to know to help keep me accountable, and help keep me in check.  I’ve also read that people that blog about their weight loss loose more weight than those who don’t, so that is also a good incentive.  My goal is to blog at least once or twice a week, so here it goes.